What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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