She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
