Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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