I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
