he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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