I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
