why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
