i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
