this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
