last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
