is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
