My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
