Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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