grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
