just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
