why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i think im in europe. pls send help
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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