Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
