shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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