Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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