Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
