I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
