she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
