I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
