This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh god the rape fog is back!
kristin has been a bad kristin
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
