Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
