i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
