It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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