Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
