So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
