If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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