like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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