So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
