Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
