I must be too annoying 4 u.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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