Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
