If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
