Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
