Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
