I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
