The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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