If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
