i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
