i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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