party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
