My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Someone came in the potted fern
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
