My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
