no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
