im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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