all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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