I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
