This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
