in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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