Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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